GRACE'S POV:

I can feel his lips on mine.

He pulled me into a soft kiss. 

My mind was beyond the limit of freezing. His touches were not harsh like before. They were something that I always been craved for. And without wasting further time, he started moving his lips in a motion. 

The kiss was pacified one. 

It was a soothing one.

A desired one. 

I can feel myself drowning in his heavenly touches. They were the only thing that I have been craved for. It's something I can't escape og, neither I want to. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just don't want to let him go. 

I just don't want him to leave me. 

I'm feeling lonely. 

I'm completely alone in this darkness. 

And he seems as a light to sparkle me. 

What's wrong with me? I myself don't know. The only thing I know is that I don't want him to go away from me. Otherwise, I will be broken once again. 

I want myself to lost in his touches completely. That's all I wanted. That's all I needed. 

I felt him pulling me more closely and he held me by my nape of the neck attacking my lips like a hungry devourer. He discarded his leather jacket throwing it somewhere and pulled me closer to himself. 

My front collided with his hard rock-like chest, He was affecting as a drug. A drug I'm addicted to. A drug I can't leave at any cost. 

He pulled back resting his forehead onto mine. His hot breaths were fanning my face and he lightly brushed his lips with mine sending a quivered sensation to me. 

I felt it. 

I felt this need. 

It's not less than any heaven. 

And the next moment, I lost myself in his touches. I lost myself in to him. I don't know what took over me? But, he is someone I never wanted to let go of. 

But, what about him?

What does he think of me?

Unaware of all of this, I just kept my mind and myself in his kiss. I felt him moving towards the bed. My steps already started following him. He pushed me down on the bed tucking me in it and hovered over me. 

I know where it will lead us. 

But I don't want to care about this right now.

I only want to be with him.

I need someone who can hold me, who can cherish me. 

He peeled off his clothes from his body and so does he did with mine. I don't know if it's right or wrong? I'm feeling like completely losing myself. 

He gave eye contact with me before proceeding further. I don't know but these grey eyes of him seem even deeper than the ocean as if they were holding a lot inside them as an ocean does. 

"Now close your eyes and feel me, little girl,"

He whispered on my left earlobe leaving a great impact on my mind. I felt like getting hypnotizing by his husky voice and I did what he said. 

I felt him come closer and he removed the last cloth from my body before parting my legs wider. I wrapped them around his waist as he pulled me in to a deep kiss.

I let him proceed however he wanted and my breath hitched feeling a new and a strange feeling in my lower region for the first time. 

I felt as if I was being ripped into half.

It felt hurt but his kiss was something that made me divert my attention from the pain in my intimate that I was coping with for the first time.

And, that's how our night passed in each other's arms for the first time. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

NEXT DAY~

My eyes opened with intense pain. I was feeling as if I'm divided into two pieces. My lower region feels completely numb. I winced turning around but to my surprise, no one was lying beside me. 

Where is he?

Is he gone?

Did he leave me?

Tears of guilt brimmed up in my eyes as the realization hit me hard. What I actually end up doing. How could you be so careless Grace? Were you that desperate? 

I was feeling disgusted upon myself. Only disgust. I hate myself. I hate myself now even more. That's why no one is with me neither want to be with me. I'm a freaking trash. I'm nothing and now, I end up losing my virginity too. 

I thought that it will be my most precious present for my future husband on our very wedding night. But no, Everything shattered. Everything ruined completely. I can't even blame him for leaving me alone. 

After all, What could be his reason for staying with me. That was just a mere hook-up night for him. But why it's hurting me?

Why it's hurting so much. 

My heart was in more pain than my body. 

It was aching so badly as if it will just stop pumping. 

I'm feeling weak. 

Pathetic

Lost

Completely lost

---
     Grace sat upon the bed slowly gaining some bit of strength to support her body.  Her legs and thighs were feeling sore and so does her mind. But most importantly, why she ends up doing this?

What's the reason?

Because he was the one you needed the most at that time.

Her subconscious yelled back at her. Nothing was left. Nothing at all. Grace lost everything. Everything that she has. Her happiness, her peace, her everything. 

Even the tears weren't left to cry. 

She was feeling drained, weak, exhausted. Sitting numb for some time, she finally let her tears out which were inside for so long. She wanted to scream and cry out loud so badly and she did.

She was feeling faint, Helpless, and Hopeless.  She was feeling like dying. But on top of that, her heart was not ready to accept that he actually left her after getting what he wanted. 

The thought made her disgust. Not on him but upon herself that she was so desperate that she gave herself to a stranger not even knowing who was he? what he wants? 

She can't even blame him because she was the person who decided not to leave him in the first place. She was the one who wanted him, not him. 

Wiping her tears off, Grace got with the support of the edge of the bed and started walking slowly towards the direction of the bathroom when her ears hear something she never anticipated. 

"Your cries sound like elephant's growls,"

~~~~~~~~~~~